Saturday, December 22, 2007

If I Question You.....

If the tunes come to an end in the midday of creation,
Oh rhythmist how will you arrnge
The fair of tunes, here on earth?
If I question you....


If lanuguages end the moment you set out your boat in the sea of thoughts,
Oh poet how will you worship the queen of poetry, the Autumn?
If I question you....


And if you find out that colurs are also gone halfway through your painting,
Oh artist how will you complete the unfinished portrait?
If I question you....


If hopes end at disappointment in the daybreak of life
And storms and rains destroy the half blooming flower,
of friend can you stop the destroyer of creation?
If I question you....





(Literal translation of an Assamese song 'Jadi Moi Prashna Karu' , Sung by late Jayanta Hazarika)

Sunday, August 19, 2007

A STORY

(All the characters are imaginary, just influenecd by real life. Any resemblance is purely co incidental, just like Jane Eyre)









CHAPTER ONE



It happened that day.

It was the 21st of September, 2004.

It was the day when the Sun rose from the West!!

It was the day when the most impossible happened.

For the optimists like Amlan, it was the day when the possible crossed the boundaries of improbables.

It was the day when Amlan felt what is called boundless joy, a sense of fulfillment, a sense of being complete. So immature was he!

For starters, it was the day when Hiya declared her love for him, at last.







CHAPTER TWO



Memories are dangerous. Amlan read the Mahabharata in childhood. He knows how Yudhisthira saved the lives of his brothers by answering correctly to the most intriguing of questions. He knows that the thing that travels the fastest is the human mind. The mind and memory! When both of them join up and decide to go for a little tour down the line, you never know what they will bring up-joys, sorrows or nothing-sifar. How Amlan wished he never has these memory trips. Now that it already initiated, he decided to not to be choosy. Although he knew it will be tough and will have to go through heavy roller coaster rides, he, in a hidden part of his mind, really wanted to revisit all those days- His journey through the times, his journey to the complexities or artificiality.






CHAPTER THREE

“Did you really say that Amlan?”

Amlan stares blankly at the Principal. He can sense the smiles running through all around him-the teachers are smiling at him.

“I repeat, did you really say so?”

Still no answer. He does not know what to say, how to response in this most awkward of situations. Can he openly say that he said he really wants to marry this girl? Loving someone is a crime? It may not be. But he knows, he has said it too early.

“You will definitely marry her Amlan.”-The Principal says.

Amlan can not believe his own ears. Has he heard clearly?

“You will definitely marry her Amlan,” the Principal continues, “once you grow up. Its very good you have chosen her. But you can’t marry her right now. Don’t you think you are too small for that? You have just entered school. You are in the first standard. Once you grow up to be a successful man, you can marry whoever you want to. Your dad himself will welcome any decision with both hands. Just concentrate on studies and be successful. Now you may leave.”

Amlan is shocked. He came here prepared for a harsh punishment, to stand outside the classroom the whole day. But what he got is encouragement-unbelievable, incredible. His motive of life is clear now – to be successful and to marry her as soon as possible. He will do anything to be successful in his life –he takes the first resolution of his life.

As it turned out, like all the resolutions he took the rest of his life, the first resolution lasted exactly three days. And the girl was not Hiya!





..........................................................................................................................................................................



(To be continued)

Monday, April 02, 2007

What am I writing!!!!!!!


Its 3-30 in the morning. And I am logged into blogger! The reasons are two- firstly I cannot study and I can think of nothing better to utilise my sleepless night....and secondly its sheer waste of web-space if you create a blog and donot write anything in it. Hence-another attempt.


Now, what can I talk about? College, which has recently been over? Exams, coming in twenty days? Cricket, India out in the first stage of worls cup? Or the parties, which have ironically become an integral part in preparing for the exams? Now while I type these words in, the conflict in my mind becomes more evident. I dont know what should get priority in my life. Merely changing the profile name to priority doesnot make me an expert in priority.Its a way of consoling myself. Nothing else. My father has always told me, " Do everything in life, but always keep in mind what your priority is." Alas! I still cannot make out what that intended to mean.


There was a time-in school...I was in the 9th standard I guess..I thought the ultimate priority in life should be love. Not only Romance, but to love and to be loved by everyone. Now I know its not practical. Atleast not for someone like me. I have my own style which doesnot suit everyone. So its natural for many people to hate me, as I hate many. So the priority in life cannot be love. It got to be something else. What?


A good academic record, a good salary, a ' safe' job and a life with a beautiful wife- is it the goal of life? If so, then the road to that life is undoubtably studies. Then, the basic priority of me, a student's life should necessarliy be studies. Fair enough. But somehow I get the feeling that my life is not meant for that. Then for what? The latenights and the wild parties that I have had enough of? Or mere satisfaction of somewhat living upto the childhood fantasies? But I know this is not the answer. I dont know the answer, but what I know is that this is not the answer.
I know what I want to achieve and somewhat know the path to glory too. I just cannot go on. I know I have to do this and that, but always unable to do that. I know my life is all messed up and I should re-arrange everything, but the fear of recognising a darker side stoppes me. And this is the tragedy!
Can life get more difficult than this? Maybe yes. Maybe no.I dont know.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007