For people like me, love is elusive. Always.
She does not have a heart of stone. No, she does not. In fact, she has a heart of Gold!
The problem is I do not have a mind. Even if I have one, I know not when and how to use it.
I am selfish. I want my love. And I don't care about her love. That's true. That's probably criminal, yet that's what it is.
Its amazing how just the sight of her makes me forget everything else, and just makes me fall in love all over again. I don't even remember how many times I have fallen in love. Always with her.
She has issues. Justified issues. The primary issue is me.
I wish I were a better man to suit her. But the issue is I have issues too. Despite that, I still hope against hope. Old habits die hard, you know.
I hate losing. I never lose a battle. People who know me know that as well. Its normal 2+2=4 that she thinks I pursue her because I hate losing her. Its beyond that. Its not that. I seek not her for I want to win, I seek her because that's the only thing I know.And I do a bad job at that.
I am totally shocked at the thought that we had so few good moments together. We fight, we complain and we stay away. Considering the amount of time we spent together, that's a scary thought. Kills your confidence that you will ever find someone to keep happy for all your life. ,
Yet, the sight of her gives me goosebumps. The solution is not that we stop meeting. Doesn't work. There is a thing called a dream, you know. But even in dreams, she remains elusive. Yet the love remains.
I know that I am impossible at times. Thankfully, the people I stay with are really awesome. Yes, we do fight, even silent fights at times, but we know each other. I work over hours, I don't help them cook, yet they understand how things are.
But this post is about her. Lets talk of her. This morning I decided not to pursue this. As usual, that did not work. Never works.
I am convinced now. I have been told how it is. Yet, the elusive hope stays. It will go. Soon.
She does not have a heart of stone. No, she does not. In fact, she has a heart of Gold!
The problem is I do not have a mind. Even if I have one, I know not when and how to use it.
I am selfish. I want my love. And I don't care about her love. That's true. That's probably criminal, yet that's what it is.
Its amazing how just the sight of her makes me forget everything else, and just makes me fall in love all over again. I don't even remember how many times I have fallen in love. Always with her.
She has issues. Justified issues. The primary issue is me.
I wish I were a better man to suit her. But the issue is I have issues too. Despite that, I still hope against hope. Old habits die hard, you know.
I hate losing. I never lose a battle. People who know me know that as well. Its normal 2+2=4 that she thinks I pursue her because I hate losing her. Its beyond that. Its not that. I seek not her for I want to win, I seek her because that's the only thing I know.And I do a bad job at that.
I am totally shocked at the thought that we had so few good moments together. We fight, we complain and we stay away. Considering the amount of time we spent together, that's a scary thought. Kills your confidence that you will ever find someone to keep happy for all your life. ,
Yet, the sight of her gives me goosebumps. The solution is not that we stop meeting. Doesn't work. There is a thing called a dream, you know. But even in dreams, she remains elusive. Yet the love remains.
I know that I am impossible at times. Thankfully, the people I stay with are really awesome. Yes, we do fight, even silent fights at times, but we know each other. I work over hours, I don't help them cook, yet they understand how things are.
But this post is about her. Lets talk of her. This morning I decided not to pursue this. As usual, that did not work. Never works.
I am convinced now. I have been told how it is. Yet, the elusive hope stays. It will go. Soon.
1 comment:
Love is selfish, always. You need to reverse the process here. For once, give her the chance to be selfish. If this is how badly you want her, you need to love her in her way.
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